additional resources

“I’ve most effectively experienced progress when combining professional treatment with reading self-help literature—my support between therapy sessions. These resources have been comforting, validating, and empowering, and have supported me in building self-esteem. Included below are the books and resources I strongly suggest, most of which I read per my therapists’ recommendations.

“Outside help is essential when we need it. I’ve never found all my solutions in one single psychotherapeutic or self-help methodology. Listed below are just a small sampling of the help that is available.”



CARE Hawai’i, O’ahu, Hawai’i. 24-hour in-person and telephone support: +1 (808) 832-3100

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24-hour hotline: 1-800-273-8255


Will I Cry Tomorrow?: Healing Post-Abortion Trauma by Susan M. Stanford and David Hazard

H.E.A.R.T. (Helping & Educating in Abortion Related Trauma),

Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited by Brian L. Weiss, MD (pp. 32–34)

May Cause Love: An Unexpected Journey of Enlightenment After Abortion by Kassi Underwood

“Adopting a Buddhist Ritual to Mourn Miscarriage, Abortion” by Deena Prichep, NPR

“Get Your Politics Off My Grief” by Kassi Underwood, New York Daily News, May 2, 2011

Avail NYC (Post-Abortion Trauma groups and therapy)



“He didn’t hit me. It was still abuse.” by Leigh Stein, The Washington Post, July 15,2106

“How to Recognize Emotional Abuse in Intimate Relationships” by Shannon McFarlin, Talkspace

“Five signs that you’re being emotionally abused” BBC Trending, May 11, 2016

The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes, PhD

Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller

Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself, by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

“Don’t Rely on People” talk by Joel Osteen, May 9, 2016

“5 Key Differences Between Love and Attachment” Expanded Consciousness

“Maintaining Your Identity in a Relationship” by Cynthia Kane, Everyday Feminism



Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment and Fear by Claudia Black, Ph.D



Daily Reader (daily reflections)

Reaching for Personal Freedom by Al-Anon Family Groups



The Tao of Sobriety: Helping You to Recover from Alcohol and Drug Addiction by David Gregson and Jay S. Efran

“Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong” by Johann Hari, Ted

The Opposite of Addiction is Connection by Jonathan Davis, Uplift, July 17, 2015

“A Trauma-Informed Interpretation of AA’s Step Four” by Britni de la Cretaz, The Fix, November 22, 2015

Great Leaders Do What Drug Addicts Do,” by Michael Brody-Waite, Ted

Joshua H., WACYPAA 2006

Gemma B.

Bill S., Hunstville Roundup 1994

Joe & Charlie (app)

Not a Glum Lot (NYC-area sober trips)

Clean Fun Network (sober trips, social and dating app)



The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions by Sheri Van Dijk MSW and Zindel V. Segal PhD

Mindfulness for Bipolar Disorder: How Mindfulness and Neuroscience Can Help You Manage Your Bipolar Symptoms by William R. Marchand MD



The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating by Kiera Van Gelder

I Hate You–Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus

Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan



You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay



Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven by P., Bill, W., Todd, S., Sara

Emotional Sobriety: The Next Frontier by AA Grapevine Inc

Gemma B.,

Tom B.



The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles by Marianne Williamson

Earn What You Deserve: How to Stop Underearning & Start Thriving by Jerrold Mundis

Spiritual Economics: The Principles and Process of True Prosperity by Eric Butterworth

How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously by Jerrold Mundis

A Currency of Hope by Debtors Anonymous

“How To Keep Money From Messing Up Your Marriage” by Chris Arnold, NPR



“Preparing for the Death of a Terminally-Ill Loved One: What to Expect, and How to Help the Entire Family Move Forward” Neptune Society, March 6, 2017

“The Bereaved Employee: Returning to Work” by Helen Fitzgerald, CT, American Hospice Foundation

“Letting Children Share in Grief” by Catherine Saint Louis, The New York Times, September 19, 2012

“Saying Goodbye: Talking to Kids About Death” by Christina Frank, Parents Magazine, April 2008



When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön

Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment by Marianne Williamson

“The 20 Things You Need To Let Go To Be Happy” by Ashley Fern, Elite Daily

“Everything is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up” Eponis | Sinope

“8 Things to Remember When Everything Is Going Wrong” Medical Health News



With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation by Thanissaro Bhikkhu (PDF of book)

Paul Weinfield (Buddhism based guided meditations)

Audio Dharma

Dhamma Talks

“I Am That, I Am” by Wayne Dyer (guided meditation)

Marianne Williamson Livestream Mondays (lectures based on A Course in Miracles)

Meditation Oasis (guided meditations)

The Honest Guys (guided meditations)

Dharma Punx (NYC donation-based meditation classes)

I Meditate NY (NYC donation-based meditation classes)

Downtown Meditation Community (NYC meditation classes and workshops)

The Chopra Foundation

iEleven (app)

Headspace (app)



Children of the Self-Absorbed, 2nd edition by Nina W. Brown EdD LPC

Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self by Elan Golomb, PhD

The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes, PhD

Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself, by Nedra Glover Tawwab



“Healing Trauma: The Light Shines Through the Broken Places” with Tara Brach

“How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime” by Nadine Burke Harris, Ted

Overcoming Trauma and PTSD: A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT, and CBT by Sheela Raja, PhD

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine with Ann Frederick

The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Soili Poijula and Mary Beth Williams

The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller

Trauma and Recover: The Aftermath of Violence–from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman, M.D.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD

Attachment-Based Yoga & Meditation for Trauma Recovery: Simple, Safe, and Effective Practices for Therapy by Deirdre Fay

The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting by Alice Miller

EMDR: The Breakthrough “Eye Movement” Therapy for Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, and Trauma by Francine Shapiro

Through Time Into Healing: Discovering the Power of Regression Therapy to Erase Trauma and Transform Mind, Body and Relationships by Brian L. Weiss, MD

After 9/11: One Girl’s Journey Through Darkness to a New Beginning by Helaina Hovitz

“A Trauma-Informed Interpretation of AA’s Step Four” by Britni de la Cretaz, The Fix, November 22, 2015

“Students with PTSD” by Susanne Babbel, PhD, MFT, Psychology Today 



True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power Of Intimate Relationships by Marianne Williamson

Easy Does It Dating Guide: For People in Recovery by Mary Faulkner

Calling in “The One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary D. Chapman

How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams

Become Your Own Matchmaker by Patti Stanger and Lisa Johnson Mandell

If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kasl

He’s Scared, She’s Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman’s Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix

Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited by Brian L. Weiss, MD

Marianne Williamson on Love and Spirituality, on Blissen Up with Rachel Lang (radio interview)

“Science Says Lasting Relationships Rely On 2 Traits” by Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic

“Study: Long Distance Relationships Can Work” by Julie Beck, The Atlantic

“10 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship” by Scott Christ

“6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal” by Mark Manson

“10 Ways To Know You’re Dating A True Gentleman” by James Michael Sama

“Real Love Is A Choice” by Seth Adam Smith, The Huffington Post



Lust, Anger, Love: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Road to Healthy Intimacy by Maureen Canning

Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the “Love” Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships by Anne Wilson Schaef



Reclaiming Our Lives: Hope for Adult Survivors of Incest by Carol Position and Karen Lison

Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women by E. Sue Blume

Sex Abuse Treatment Center Hawai’i (O’ahu), 24-hour hotline: +1 (808) 524-7273

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673



Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

“Secrets and Shame: Simple Steps to Move Beyond Shame” by Tracey Cleantis, Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation



The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents by Melody Beattie

The Magpie Art: Gathering the Brightness of Every Day by Paul Weinfield

Tao Te Ching, translated by Gia-Fu Feng and Jane English

A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson

The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life by Piero Ferrucci and Dalai Lama

Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein

A Year of Miracles: Daily Devotions and Reflections by Marianne Williamson

The Living Tao by Stephen F. Kaufman

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

Twenty Four Hours a Day by Anonymous (Jan 1, 1954)

“How To Distinguish Between Divine Guidance And Ego / Fear / Imagination”

Reflections from Paul Weinfield (Buddhism based teachings)

“Suffering is our guide” by Andrea Feller, Audio Dharma, August 29, 2017

“Why doesn’t god stop rape or those who hurt the innocent?” by Ravi Zacharias

“15 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Wayne Dyer” by Luminita D. Saviuc

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Disclaimer Charlotte Grey does not claim any professional training in social work or psychiatry. The suggestions listed on this page and on this website are meant to inspire supplemental treatment options for self-help. It is recommended that professional treatment be combined with any solutions discussed herein for suspected or known psychological or psychiatric malady, and that the content of this website not be used as substitute for professional treatment.  

photographs © Charlotte Grey Writings

*For writing requests, please contact Charlotte via e-mail.