“I’ve most effectively experienced progress when combining professional treatment with self-help resources—my support between therapy sessions. These resources have been comforting, validating, empowering, and instrumental in building self-esteem. Included below are the books and resources I strongly suggest, most of which I read per my therapists’ recommendations.
“Outside help is essential when we need it. I’ve never found all my solutions in one single psychotherapeutic or self-help methodology. Listed below are just a small sampling of the help that is available to us.”
– Charlotte
Update, July 2023: The Fix website has been unavailable since 2022. Charlotte reached out to website staff multiple times with no reply. The links here will be maintained in the event that they become accessible again.
MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS
NAMI National Warmline Directory, peer-run phone line that offers callers emotional support and is staffed by volunteers who are in recovery themselves
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24-hour hotline: 1-800-273-8255
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Care Hawai’i, 24-hour in-person and telephone support: +1 (808) 832-3100
Maui Sexual Assault Center, 24-hour hotline, and in-person support for Maui, Lana’i, and Moloka’i: +1 (808) 873-8624
ABORTION
Will I Cry Tomorrow?: Healing Post-Abortion Trauma by Susan M. Stanford and David Hazard
H.E.A.R.T. (Helping & Educating in Abortion Related Trauma), www.evecenter.org
Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited by Brian L. Weiss, MD (pp. 32–34)
May Cause Love: An Unexpected Journey of Enlightenment After Abortion by Kassi Underwood
“Adopting a Buddhist Ritual to Mourn Miscarriage, Abortion” by Deena Prichep, NPR
“Get Your Politics Off My Grief” by Kassi Underwood, New York Daily News, May 2, 2011
Avail NYC (Post-Abortion Trauma groups and therapy)
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ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS / CODEPENDENCY
“He didn’t hit me. It was still abuse.” by Leigh Stein, The Washington Post, July 15,2106
“How to Recognize Emotional Abuse in Intimate Relationships” by Shannon McFarlin, Talkspace
“Five signs that you’re being emotionally abused” BBC Trending, May 11, 2016
The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes, PhD
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller
Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
“Don’t Rely on People” talk by Joel Osteen, May 9, 2016
Google search: Differences between love and attachment
“Maintaining Your Identity in a Relationship” by Cynthia Kane, Everyday Feminism
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ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS & DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES
Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment and Fear by Claudia Black, Ph.D
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AL-ANON
Daily Reader (daily reflections)
Reaching for Personal Freedom by Al-Anon Family Groups
Hope for Today by Al-Anon Family Groups
From Survival to Recovery: Growing Up in an Alcoholic Home by Al-Anon Family Group Head Inc
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ALCOHOLISM / DRUG ADDICTION
A Woman’s Way through The Twelve Steps by Stephanie S. Covington, PhD
The Tao of Sobriety: Helping You to Recover from Alcohol and Drug Addiction by David Gregson and Jay S. Efran
“Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong” by Johann Hari, Ted
The Opposite of Addiction is Connection by Jonathan Davis, Uplift, July 17, 2015
“Great Leaders Do What Drug Addicts Do,” by Michael Brody-Waite, Ted
Joe & Charlie (app)
Not a Glum Lot (NYC-area sober trips)
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BIPOLAR DISORDER
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions by Sheri Van Dijk MSW and Zindel V. Segal PhD
Mindfulness for Bipolar Disorder: How Mindfulness and Neuroscience Can Help You Manage Your Bipolar Symptoms by William R. Marchand MD
“Commonly Misused Therapy Terms, Corrected by Therapists,” by Xenia E., Giddy
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BODY POSITIVITY
The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor
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BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating by Kiera Van Gelder
I Hate You–Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus
Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan
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CHRONIC ILLNESS
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay
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DEPRESSION / ANXIETY
MindMyPeelings.com (helpful worksheets to get through tough times)
“Commonly Misused Therapy Terms, Corrected by Therapists,” by Xenia E., Giddy
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EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY
Sober But Stuck: Obstacles Most Often Encountered That Keep Us from Growing in Recovery by Dan F.
Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven by P., Bill, W., Todd, S., Sara
Drop the Rock …The Ripple Effect: Using Step 10 to Work Steps 6 and 7 Every Day, by Fred H.
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Frontier by AA Grapevine Inc
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown
Anger, resentment, and forgiveness (Al-Anon speaker panel)
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FINANCIAL STRESS
The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles by Marianne Williamson
Earn What You Deserve: How to Stop Underearning & Start Thriving by Jerrold Mundis
Spiritual Economics: The Principles and Process of True Prosperity by Eric Butterworth
How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously by Jerrold Mundis
A Currency of Hope by Debtors Anonymous
“How To Keep Money From Messing Up Your Marriage” by Chris Arnold, NPR
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GRIEVING / BEREAVEMENT
“The Bereaved Employee: Returning to Work” by Helen Fitzgerald, CT, American Hospice Foundation
“Letting Children Share in Grief” by Catherine Saint Louis, The New York Times, September 19, 2012
“Saying Goodbye: Talking to Kids About Death” by Christina Frank, Parents Magazine, April 2008
The Magpie Art: Gathering the Brightness of Every Day by Paul Weinfield (Consolation chapter)
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha W. Hickman
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INSPIRATION
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön
Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment by Marianne Williamson
“5 Proven Truths About Finding Happiness” by Melanie Greenberg PhD, Psychology Today
“The 20 Things You Need To Let Go To Be Happy” by Ashley Fern, Elite Daily
“Everything is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up” Eponis | Sinope
“8 Things to Remember When Everything Is Going Wrong” by Marc Chernoff
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LONELINESS
Loneliness: The Silent Epidemic, newsletter, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
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MEDITATION
Ally Boothroyd, yoga nidra guided meditation yoga practice to relax the nervous system
With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation by Thanissaro Bhikkhu (PDF of book)
Paul Weinfield (Buddhism based guided meditations)
Marianne Williamson Livestream Mondays (lectures based on A Course in Miracles)
Meditation Oasis (guided meditations)
The Honest Guys (guided meditations)
Dharma Punx (NYC donation-based meditation classes)
Downtown Meditation Community (NYC meditation classes and workshops)
The Chopra Foundation
iEleven (app)
Headspace (app)
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NARCISSISTIC PARENT
Children of the Self-Absorbed, 2nd edition by Nina W. Brown EdD LPC
Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self by Elan Golomb, PhD
The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes, PhD
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Commonly Misused Therapy Terms, Corrected by Therapists,” by Xenia E., Giddy
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POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER / TRAUMA
“How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime” by Nadine Burke Harris, Ted
Overcoming Trauma and PTSD: A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT, and CBT by Sheela Raja, PhD
Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine with Ann Frederick
The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color, by Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Soili Poijula and Mary Beth Williams
My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem
The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
Trauma and Recover: The Aftermath of Violence–from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman, MD
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD
Attachment-Based Yoga & Meditation for Trauma Recovery: Simple, Safe, and Effective Practices for Therapy by Deirdre Fay
The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting by Alice Miller
EMDR: The Breakthrough “Eye Movement” Therapy for Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, and Trauma by Francine Shapiro
Through Time Into Healing: Discovering the Power of Regression Therapy to Erase Trauma and Transform Mind, Body and Relationships by Brian L. Weiss, MD
After 9/11: One Girl’s Journey Through Darkness to a New Beginning by Helaina Hovitz
“Healing Trauma: The Light Shines Through the Broken Places” with Tara Brach
“Students with PTSD” by Susanne Babbel, PhD, MFT, Psychology Today
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RACISM
My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem
The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health: Navigate an Unequal System, Learn Tools for Emotional Wellness, and Get the Help You Deserve by Rheeda Walker
Decolonizing the Body: Healing, Body-Centered Practices for Women of Color to Reclaim Confidence, Dignity, and Self-Worth, by Kelsey Blackwell
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America’s Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing by Dr. Joy Degruy
Body Rites: A Holistic Healing and Embodiment Workbook for Black Survivors of Sexual Trauma, by Dr. Shena J Young
The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color, by Natalie Y. Gutiérrez LMFT
The Loveland Foundation, therapy for Black women, girls, and gender non-binary folks
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ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power Of Intimate Relationships by Marianne Williamson
Easy Does It Dating Guide: For People in Recovery by Mary Faulkner
Calling in “The One” by Katherine Woodward Thomas
Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary D. Chapman
How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams
Become Your Own Matchmaker by Patti Stanger and Lisa Johnson Mandell
If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kasl
He’s Scared, She’s Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol
The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman’s Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix
Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited by Brian L. Weiss, MD
Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself by Sheleana Aiyana
“Commonly Misused Therapy Terms, Corrected by Therapists,” by Xenia E., Giddy
Marianne Williamson on Love and Spirituality, on Blissen Up with Rachel Lang (radio interview)
“Science Says Lasting Relationships Rely On 2 Traits” by Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic
“Study: Long Distance Relationships Can Work” by Julie Beck, The Atlantic
“10 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship” by Scott Christ
“6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal” by Mark Manson
“10 Ways To Know You’re Dating A True Gentleman” by James Michael Sama
“Real Love Is A Choice” by Seth Adam Smith, The Huffington Post
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SEX & LOVE ADDICTION
Lust, Anger, Love: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Road to Healthy Intimacy by Maureen Canning
Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the “Love” Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships by Anne Wilson Schaef
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SEXUAL ABUSE & INCEST
Reclaiming Our Lives: Hope for Adult Survivors of Incest by Carol Position and Karen Lison
Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women by E. Sue Blume
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Care Hawai’i, 24-hour in-person and telephone support: +1 (808) 832-3100
Maui Sexual Assault Center, 24-hour hotline, and in-person support for Maui, Lana’i, and Moloka’i: +1 (808) 873-8624
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SHAME
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
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SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents by Melody Beattie
The Magpie Art: Gathering the Brightness of Every Day by Paul Weinfield
A Woman’s Spirit: More Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
Tao Te Ching, translated by Gia-Fu Feng and Jane English
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson
The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life by Piero Ferrucci and Dalai Lama
Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein
A Year of Miracles: Daily Devotions and Reflections by Marianne Williamson
The Living Tao by Stephen F. Kaufman
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
Twenty Four Hours a Day by Anonymous (Jan 1, 1954)
“How To Distinguish Between Divine Guidance And Ego / Fear / Imagination”
Reflections from Paul Weinfield (Buddhism based teachings)
“Suffering is our guide” by Andrea Feller, Audio Dharma, August 29, 2017
“Why doesn’t god stop rape or those who hurt the innocent?” by Ravi Zacharias
“15 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Wayne Dyer” by Luminita D. Saviuc
Disclaimer Charlotte Grey does not claim any professional training in social work or psychiatry. The suggestions listed on this page and on this website are meant to inspire supplemental treatment options for self-help. It is recommended that professional treatment be combined with any solutions discussed herein for suspected or known psychological or psychiatric malady, and that the content of this website not be used as substitute for professional treatment.
photographs © Charlotte Grey Writings
*For writing requests, please contact Charlotte via e-mail
Charlotte Grey 